IN DEEP DO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I had a huge brain freeze this morning.

Me human was putting on my sparkly purple bell boots this morning and she lost her balance and bumped into my chest. I am very sensistive there and I was thinking WTF is happening and I bit her head.

Holy crap is her head big!!! I couldn't get my jaws around it so I gnawed on it a bit and all of a sudden she starts yelling "are you biting my effing head???"

I realized what I was doing and starting sucking up really big time. Worked too!!! We stood there looking at each other and I am thinking what do you put in your hair. No show sheen on her, tasted like crap. I am like blech, yuck, GROSS. Of course I didnt' SAY this to her I was saying I am SO SORRY Mom, please don't be mad at me. I love you Mom, you are the best. Here let me pick the hay off your pants. Gimme a kissy Mom, I love you!!!

Anyway she must be ok about it since I got my hay and some extra attention before she went off to work. Good thing she works so I get my bills paid. It was silly of me to bite the provider of all stuff I get. Better behave, Christmas is coming.

WAAAASSSUPPPPPPP!!!!

A big howdy do to everyone.


Sorry been too busy to write. Hanging out with my posse takes effort ya know!!!!


I was very surprised to get out to the paddock the other day and the white stuff had come down and stayed on the ground. My human is running around complaining that it feels like January and not November. It is very cold and I have on my winter dress. Oh very excited. I got my new bell boots and they are purple with sparkles. I am the bomb. Lady flash.


Things have been boring lately which I know makes the humans running the place happy. You would think that she has more time for me but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I am not being treated with what I am due. I barely get a smile and a nod these days. Sure she comes in and I see her first thing in the morning and she tucks me in at night, but gone are the days of lazy grooming and all the treats I can eat. I must confess I get my treats at the end of the day when all the other humans have gone and she is checking all us kids. I get special attention then but I should be getting more. More for me I say.




Still, I am the Queen of hill. Got my new winter shoes which is a good thing since the white stuff came down. I am not slipping or walking on high heels. The LandShark's shoe dude didn't do her or Stinky and the LandShark says she will bite his ass when she seems him next so he better watch out. She will git him for sure!!! Ha Ha. Should be fun to hear about.

Well the round bales are calling me and I must get my share.

Talk soon

HRH

LAZY, LAZY DAYS

Well the humans finally got around to getting the round bales out to our fields and us girls are feeling pretty special because we got two!!!! How about that. There are 8 of us now.



We have been munching away for days now and the other day it was so nice that me, my BFF and the LandShark all settled in for a big nap. I was not impressed and neither was the LandShark when my human came and woke me up since she wanted to go hacking. I was like mumble, grumble OMG you are making me get up. LandShark was out cold and she was like "where am I" when my human was getting me. The human had a big laugh at her , big tough sleepy heads all of you, sleeping in your hay. I am thinking we are going to eat it anyway and it makes for a soft bed. Go away, but of course I was dragged into the barn and tacked up and off we went. Don't really mind though. I love hacking.



I was showing my superior moves to the White Stallion and boy was I on. I feel good!!!! I am just the belle of the barnyard I tell you. No one is hotter than me. I am trying to get the human to get us showing again, but I fear she is not in shape. She had better start working out soon so I can show my superior moves. Must send an email to the coach, get her up so the human can practise jumping things.

Not much else has been happening in my life, but I know my human has been a wee bit stressed lately. Other humans are bugging her and that takes away from me and I don't like that very much. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! JUST STOP IT NOW. If you don't stop bugging her and the other head wench I will get the LandShark and we will git ya. Don't let the barn gate hit you on the butt passing by our stalls, ya hear!!!! Ok mini rant over!!!

Still I am very excited because I think this is the day the carrot lady comes. Yippee!!!

Ok off to bale, move over LandShark time for me nap.

HRH

EXCITING TIMES

My human headed off to the Royal Winter Fair with the human of my BFF and I told her "Don't you dare come home without a present for me" And you know what???? She came home with the best new thing for me. I have new jammies!!!! I can wear them under my smashing purple rain sheet and I'm just styling. I have, are you ready pink jammies with cave horse drawings on them. Just the best thing. No one else has this!!!!! I am just a fashion maven. They peek out from under my rain sheet and all the boys are just looking at me because I am the barn yard hottie for sure!!!!!!



The humans were busy all weekend with the arena so I only went hacking with the White Stallion on Saturday. We were heading out to the forbidden fields when all of a sudden we started hearing strange noises. My human and the other head wench were wondering if this noise was coyotes or kids making fun of them. All of a sudden we all hear this yelling at us to git off our land. The humans are like WTF??? So they decided to go see what what was up.





We turned around and me and the White Stallion thundered up to where the noise was coming from and we were surprised to see little kids. Boy were they surprised to see us. Me and the White Stallion blowing fire out our nostrils since we had been disturbed from our little hack. These boys had eyes the size of round bales when they saw us there.



Anyway we soon were on our way again and it was a lovely fall day. Nice and cool and sunny. Just the best.



When I got home, this is when I got my wonderful pressy. I am so happy. Just happy, happy, happy.

BLOG BORROWING

HRH has let me borrow her blog for today. Thank you very much dearhart but quit talking about my butt or I am going to git ya!!! No not really, all in good fun. If you havn't guessed I am the LandShark and I want to talk about what happened to my Dad and put the rumours to rest.



Seems some other horse at the farm where he works bit my Dad. Bit part of his finger right off and people are talking that I did it. I did NOT. I love me Dad and me Mom and even the head wenches from time to time, when they give me mints. I love mints!!!! And carrots!!!! And apples too!!!!!



I would never bite him and I really don't want to bite anyone else for that matter. I am very worried because he has this nasty thing on his hand and it looks pretty bad. If anything happened to my Dad or Mom I would be very worried about what would happen to me. Until I owned them I didn't have a great life but now I do, just like HRH!!!



I know this other horse feels really bad that he did this. HRH picked up the signal on the hayfield express and he has sent his heartfelt apologies via the hay-mail. He said he was very sorry this happened and asked that we put it up on the blog because he said he keeps leaking every time he thinks about what he did.



HRH says there is nothing to worry about since my Mom and HRH's Mom will help with me and Stinky until he gets better.



I think this true so I'm off to scare someone now. I will get HRH to help me



Love



The LandShark

I AM SURROUNDED BY TARTS

OMG - You should have been here this weekend. The LandShark, the Diva and the New Gal are all in heat and are carrying on with Juan and Brad Pitt. I am talking full blown winkin' and blinkin' and carrying on.



Brad Pitt had the LandShark by her dress and was trying to rip it off her. Be still my aching eyes but she was LETTING him do this. Diva was a squealin' at Juan and then the New Gal was trying to hone in on both of them and they LET her. What is up with that.



Of course I was acting like the lady I am. Personally after all this going on the weekend I am going to set my sights on Mr. Cool. He is very debonair, handsome and I bet he would not be sniffing up the butts of those three hoes!! I am sure he knows a classy lady when he sees one.




You should have seen turn in last night. Diva was so intent on getting to Juan she broke in the back door of his barn and was standing there when my human brought in the new girl. Then the Devil Pony got in the act. Well my Mom made short shrift of this and told them to get their skanky butts to their own stalls NOW. Both of them made hay for the big barn where they live and they went to their own rooms before they got in trouble with my Mom. The Devil Pony said they now know where the carrot and apple stash is in the other barn and that is what she was looking for not one of the boys.


Now Twizzle and the LandShark are upset with the Devil Pony because they think she is stealing their treats.


What I have to go through around here to keep the peace. It is just a darn good thing I am so good natured.

HRH

A COMMUNIQUE FROM THE COACH

Got an message from my human's coach on my email which is really how I like to hear from her. Better than having her make the human crawl up on my back and expect me to haul her around the riding ring doing things that will help the human's riding skills. I am perfect of course the coach is there strickly for the human's benefit, just so we are absolutely clear on this.



Anyhoo this has the HRH stamp of approval and I am sharing it all with you and I have added my comments of course.


OLD BROADS' RIDING RULES



1. We do not need to show up with our hair combed, make up on and wearing a clean shirt



2. Moaning groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable as is taking motrin before a ride




3. Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means thehorse got taller overnight



4. No one will comment on how big the someone's butt looks in a saddle. Ok, HRH interjecting here. Good thing the LandShark dosn't sit in a saddle with HER butt!!!! YOWZA!!!



5. Everyone will wait, patiently while someone dismounts and adjusts equipment. Everyone must also wait patiently until that person remounts and is ready to move on. No matter how long that takes.



HRH advice here - take this opportunity to eat what ever is around you when this happens. You must make sure you slobber up your bit. Human do love to clean off the crust after you have been riding.




6. When a horse is acting up we will accept that the horse is just having a bad hair day and it is not the riders fault - HRH - DUH!!!



7. Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy etc is considered selfexpression, not whining

8. Wanting to be first, last, walk, or just stop does not mean the rider is a wimp. Sometimes it is
necessary to teach a horse who is in charge.



HRH- THAT is so funny. The humans think they are in charge. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA



9. We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason we fall off them. If this happens to any rider the other riders will ascertain that the person is ok and then not mention the incident to another living soul, expecially husbands and significant others.




HRH - But the horses will take this back to the hayfield and all have a good laugh at the humans expense. This is especially true for the East Coast Princess who writes here underthe handle of Island Girls.



10 Our horses are not fat they are big boned - HRH enough said!!

11 Looking at my bouncing fat is NOT an acceptable way of determining if I have a good seat. My fat always bounces, thank you. It is cushion I carry in case I fall off.



12 Although I will beat your butt around the next corner I need to tell you again "I am not competitive.


13 I never treat my horses to anything I don't like myself. Ever tried hay???




HRH - leave my bloody hay alone. YEESH!!!!