A COMMUNIQUE FROM THE COACH

Got an message from my human's coach on my email which is really how I like to hear from her. Better than having her make the human crawl up on my back and expect me to haul her around the riding ring doing things that will help the human's riding skills. I am perfect of course the coach is there strickly for the human's benefit, just so we are absolutely clear on this.



Anyhoo this has the HRH stamp of approval and I am sharing it all with you and I have added my comments of course.


OLD BROADS' RIDING RULES



1. We do not need to show up with our hair combed, make up on and wearing a clean shirt



2. Moaning groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable as is taking motrin before a ride




3. Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means thehorse got taller overnight



4. No one will comment on how big the someone's butt looks in a saddle. Ok, HRH interjecting here. Good thing the LandShark dosn't sit in a saddle with HER butt!!!! YOWZA!!!



5. Everyone will wait, patiently while someone dismounts and adjusts equipment. Everyone must also wait patiently until that person remounts and is ready to move on. No matter how long that takes.



HRH advice here - take this opportunity to eat what ever is around you when this happens. You must make sure you slobber up your bit. Human do love to clean off the crust after you have been riding.




6. When a horse is acting up we will accept that the horse is just having a bad hair day and it is not the riders fault - HRH - DUH!!!



7. Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy etc is considered selfexpression, not whining

8. Wanting to be first, last, walk, or just stop does not mean the rider is a wimp. Sometimes it is
necessary to teach a horse who is in charge.



HRH- THAT is so funny. The humans think they are in charge. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA



9. We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason we fall off them. If this happens to any rider the other riders will ascertain that the person is ok and then not mention the incident to another living soul, expecially husbands and significant others.




HRH - But the horses will take this back to the hayfield and all have a good laugh at the humans expense. This is especially true for the East Coast Princess who writes here underthe handle of Island Girls.



10 Our horses are not fat they are big boned - HRH enough said!!

11 Looking at my bouncing fat is NOT an acceptable way of determining if I have a good seat. My fat always bounces, thank you. It is cushion I carry in case I fall off.



12 Although I will beat your butt around the next corner I need to tell you again "I am not competitive.


13 I never treat my horses to anything I don't like myself. Ever tried hay???




HRH - leave my bloody hay alone. YEESH!!!!